Never Invite a Novakid to Tea
Never Invite a Novakid to Tea is a codex appearing in the Grand Pagoda Library mission under the teleporter at the end, as well as Novakid Villages.
This codex was a winning fan entry in the Take a Look, it’s in a Book lore submission contest, written by forum member Tatterdemalion.
Trivia
- The codex entry references Hylotl Missionaries, a faction the Hylotl player character was part of in the beta versions of Starbound. Due to being a fan entry for a contest held before the official release, its content appears to be based on the beta continuity, rather than the canon continuity introduced with the official release. This is likely true of the other fan made entries as well, although only this codex refers explicitly to any beta concepts. Because of this (and also that this entry is the only reference to the Hylotl Missionaries in the release version of the game), the canonicity of this faction in the modern game is dubious.
Contents
My dear Itsuki,
I write this letter to you from the remains of my camp. It appears that missionary work is more difficult than I anticipated.
Despite the training we received, I was woefully underprepared for creatures such as these.
The morning began as peacefully as one could expect on an uncivilized planet like this.
Nonetheless, it was chosen so that I may spread Hylotl peace to the less fortunate, so I was determined to "rough it."
I placed my tea atop a gentle flame and eased myself into my morning meditation as usual. However, I could hardly achieve a state of enlightenment for the cacophony that soon assaulted my ears from beyond a hill!
After a calming breath, I set out to investigate.
A brief hike to the top of the hill revealed two alien lifeforms, shining like beacons, each with a marking atop their face!
A search through my xenobiological handbook revealed these to be Novakid, a primitive gaseous species.
The two, glowing blue and yellow respectively, whooped and hollered as one strummed a guitar, creating some semblance of music. "What better specimens to enlighten than these creatures?" thought I!
I strode down the hill. They seemed wary of me, but I assured them that I meant no harm. I introduced myself in customary fashion, and they returned with their names, the blue one "Bonnibel," the yellow "Nym." They possessed a most ridiculous accent.
Nym extended his hand, and I, assuming it was a customary greeting, reached out in response. The savage shook my hand with a vigour that nearly toppled me, the whole exchange quite uncouth.
Determined to civilize these ruffians, I invited them to tea, as tradition dictates. They seemed very excited at the prospect, eagerly following me back to camp.
My tea boiled, and as I prepared the proper settings the Novakid perused my camp. There was not a single ornament they were not curious about. Their filthy hands touched all my perfectly-aligned furnishings. They shattered my favourite coral sculpture! Nevertheless, I knew I could enlighten them.
Over tea, I spoke about opening their third eye to the world. They seemed to barely pay attention.
The tea I served was my finest blend, but after a single sip they dropped my cups, shattering them on the floor! I struggled to remain calm as Bonnibel removed a jug of some liquid and passed it between herself and Nym. "Perhaps I could earn their trust by partaking in this cultural tradition," I thought.
After a hesitation they allowed me the jug. "Maybe they're warming up to my teachings after all." Those thoughts faded away after I lifted the jug to my mouth. The drink burned down my throat, and after one sip I fell unconscious. When I awoke, Bonnibel and Nym were gone, leaving me in my battered camp nursing a terrible headache.
I end this note with a warning for your missionary travels, Itsuki.
Never invite a Novakid to tea.
History
- Cheerful Giraffe: Added
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